Now Scream This: Prepare For Spring With These Streaming Horror Movies
(Welcome toNow Scream This, a column where horror experts Chris Evangelista and Matt Donato tell you what scary, spooky, and spine-tingling movies are streaming and where you can watch them.)Matt:As April showers wash away winter blues, it’s time for another seasonal to do: spring cleaning! Just as one might tidy up messy garages or reorganize bookshelves, you can also knock a few watches off your ever-growing streaming queue. In particular, I tried to theme my picks around outdoor activities and brighter weather now that the snow’s melted. My gift to you, “Now Scream This” readers. Now get out there and embrace the sunshine – from the seat on your couch in front of the television. Crack those blinds (except if there’s a glare on your TV, then stay in your cave)!Chris:If you’re anything like me (and if you, I’m sorry), your streaming platform queues areloadedwith crap you have yet to get around to. Something strikes your fancy, you add it to your queue, and then you keep putting it off. And putting it off. Time passes, and every time you scroll through that queue, you pass that one title, and think, “Hmm, I should watch that.” Well friends, that time is now. In the spirit of spring cleaning, Matt and I are here to help you clean out that damn queue! The time to watch these movies istoday. Or, you know, whenever you get a chance.
Now Streaming on Shudder
Matt:Fangoria’s production banner takes credit for rebootingCharles Band’sPuppet Masterfranchise, with an admittedly eyebrow-raising script byS. Craig Zahlerand direction bySonny LagunaandTommy Wiklund. What’s a little spring cleaning without throwing away old toys?Thomas Lennonplays Edgar, whose possession of a possibly original Blade figure brings him to an Andre Toulon (Udo Kier) convention with intent to sell. Thus instigates Zahler’s hack-em-up slaughterhouse (slaughterhotel?) scenario where Toulon’s dolls – created to be Nazi foot soldiers because in this version, Toulon’s ride-or-die Third Reich – carry out the nastiest, bloodiest, most despicable hate crimes in pure delight reel fashion. Some will detest Zahler’s murky politics and extreme prejudice, while others will delight in some of 2018’s most memorable kill sequences. Know that going in.Chris:I hate this movie with the fire of a thousand suns. Look, I don’t needqualityfrom aPuppet Mastermovie. But I certainly need more than whatever this shit is.
Matt:E.L. Katz’sCheap Thrillsstands as one of my favorite feature debuts of the 2000s. Themes of cleanup are evident after the film’s plot twists out of control, as Colin (David Koechner) and Violet (Sara Paxton) pit old friends Vince (Ethan Embry) and Craig (Pat Healy) against one another with “friendly” dares. As their gamesmanship turns to sadism, Healy and Embry beat their characters into oblivion over each increasingly nasty request. It’s perversely hilarious, blackened to perfection, and so very boosted by veteran character actors doing what they do best. Thrills may be cheap, but the payoff hits one massive jackpot.Chris:This isdefinitelyone of those movies I’ve had sitting in my queue for the longest time. Hey, maybe I’ll finally watch it! Just like this week’s theme suggests!
Now Streaming on Netflix
Matt:As Mr. Sun starts glowing brighter and warmer, why not go for a nice wilderness hike with your best friends? Although, maybe not through Northern Sweden’s dense woodlands? AsDavid Bruckner’sThe Ritualnotes, you might run into a backwoods cult and their demonic demigod. Tricks of the mind plague four friends at the onset of their journey, but Act III reveals nightmarishly vivid monster design that doesn’t need to hide behind darkened shadows. Never reliant on psychological thrills and entirely beholden to Bruckner’s ability to conjure tension both in the hunt and on the defensive. 2018 was a good year for Netflix’s horror originals.Chris:This movie is loaded with nasty surprises, and some cool creature effects.
Matt:Did you ever wishThe Wicker Manhad more cranium-caving gore?Gareth Evans’Apostlehasyou covered!Dan Stevensstars as Thomas Richardson, an ex-priest and brother who must invade a naturalist cult to save his kidnapped sister.Michael Sheengoes all power-hungry as a prophet, Evans holsters his character’s action sensibilities in favor of folktale horrors, and while overlong, all the haunts build a “mother’s love” mystery rooted in wild tendencies. For heaven’s sakes, it’s Dan Stevens vs. Michael Sheen? You shouldn’t need more convincing than that if we’re level with one another.Chris:Apostleis about twenty minutes too long, but there’s enough ghoulish mayhem here to enjoy.
Matt:As frozen grounds become greener pastures once again, creepy crawlies come out of hiding. With that in mind, may I recommendEight Legged Freaksslide into your queue? Arachnids aren’t really “my thing,” butEllory Elkayem’s goofball creature feature goes about small-town invading with the spirit ofMars Attacks!.David Arquettein hero mode? CGI spiders snatching livestock and spinning webs around townsfolk? It’s on the funnier side of the horror spectrum, but still works with enough snatch-and-grab insectoid attack thrills to keep one foot in the muck of terror. Have you been passing by this one because the cover looks like bargain-bin nonsense? Well, don’t! Time to finally get tangled in this one’s icky webbing.Chris:Sure! Why not! Scarlett Johansson is in this!
Chris: Kevin KölschandDennis Widmyerare about to scare audiences silly with their wonderful new adaptation ofPet Sematary. If you’re unfamiliar with the duo’s work, and want to see what their deal is before you seePet Sematarynext month, you need to jump onStarry Eyesimmediately.Alex Essoegives an award-worthy performance as a disturbed young actress who would do anything to become a star. And I meananything. What starts off seeming like a dark satire of Hollywood slowly morphs into something far more horrifying. Get ready to squirm in your seat through almost this entire movie.Matt:Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer are about to stun you with their 2019 adaptation ofPet Sematary- Chris and I both left SXSW riding that reanimated high – but before you go rooting around mystical burial grounds, start with the “Starry Guys'” hit-maker,Starry Eyes. Oh how the price of fame corrupts, and my do these guys manipulate the heck out of Alex Essoe’s lead performance.
Chris:I’m a big fan of movies that find ways to do a lot with a little.Last Shiftis like that.Juliana Harkavyis a rookie cop left alone in a police station slated to be closed. But she’s not as alone as she thinks – because the building is haunted. Director Anthony DiBlasi does a great job with sound design here, creating the suggestion of menace without always showing it. That’s not to sayLast Shiftkeeps all its scares off screen – as the film nears its conclusion, the evil spirits make their presenceverywell known.Matt:Last Shifthas quite the following based on my social media interactions, but it’s not my cup o' prison-set horror tea – even based on prison-set horror movies released in 2015 (Let Us Prey>Last Shift).Creepy Office Chairs That Move: The Movie!
Chris:First, it’s worth noting thatThe Uninvitedis a remake of a much better movie –A Tale of Two Sisters. You should watch that, too! But I’m picking this because believe it or not, it’s surprisingly fun. Months after a suicide attempt following the death of her sick mother,Emily Browningreturns to her posh waterfront house and finds that her father (David Strathairn) has started a relationship with her dead mother’s former nurse (Elizabeth Banks). Browning and her sister (Arielle Kebbel) are suspicious of Banks, and become convinced she’s up to no good. She might have even killed their mother. Or did she? Nothing here is what it seems. As far as American remakes of superior Korean horror movies go,The Uninvitedis worth finally sitting down to watch.Matt:Before you watchThe Uninvited, you should see the Korean film it’s based on:A Tale Of Two Sisters. Far superior, indeed – but for a lazy Netflix watch?The Uninvitedis the American remake you’d expect, and not for the worse.
Now Streaming on HBOGo
Chris: Gus Van Santfollowed his Oscar glory fromGood Will Huntingwith this curious, much-derided experiment – shot-by-shot remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s classicPsycho. Many felt Van Sant was crazy to even think about such a thing, and audiences didn’t turn this into a huge hit. Over the years, Van Sant’sPsychohas developed a reputation for being terrible, but it’s actually quite fascinating. Cinematographer Christopher Doyle paints stark, haunting visuals in living color, and the cast is killer.Vince Vaughn’s giggly Norman Bates can’t even come close to competing with Anthony Perkins' iconic performance, but it’s fun to watch Vaughn’s take on the character. The real stand-out isWilliam H. Macy, playing a fast-talking, wise-cracking, ill-fated private eye. If you’re one of the many people who’ve avoidedPsychofor so long, assuming it was pointless, check it out. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.Matt:What a stacked cast, and what a very fine and dandy remake. Not much else worth saying that Chris hasn’t covered already!
Now Streaming on Amazon Prime Video
Chris:The Ruinsis aboutkiller vines! Wait, no, come back! I know that sounds silly, but this is a surprisingly nasty horror movie that will take you by surprise. WriterScott B. Smith(A Simple Plan) adapts his own book here, and while the book ismuchbetter, the film version has its charms. A group of Americans on vacation in Mexico go into the jungle looking for the ruins of a Mayan temple. They find it, but they also findkiller jungle vines. Again, I know how ridiculous this all sounds, but it somehow works, with plenty of body horror on display to make your viewing experience extra pleasant.Matt:I passedThe Ruinswhile scrolling through Amazon Prime’s watchlist and almost snagged it, but deep down left it hoping Chris would notice. Very happy to see it appear. Watch it!
